


Space Time Bitch

by JadeElite



Category: Rick and Morty
Genre: F/M, Reader-Insert, Sex, alien dealings gone wrong
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-13
Updated: 2018-02-13
Packaged: 2019-03-18 00:24:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,909
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13670421
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JadeElite/pseuds/JadeElite
Summary: Archiving my old Rick and Morty fics, this one was just a pretty type Rick and Reader insert fic





	Space Time Bitch

“YO, get urp get in I need your help with a delivery, Morty is being a little biiuuuurptch because “wah wah you can’t sell guns to assassins it’s not right.’ But I need somebody to make the drop.” 

You stare at the flying saucer that Rick has just arrived in, when he pushed the door open a lot of bottles tumbled out at your feet. You don’t know if you should be more concerned about them, or the fact that the ship is clearly made out of garbage. 

“Come ooon I don’t have a lot of time, this guy gets pissed if his stuff is late.” Rick grabs you by the arm and pulls you into vehicle, you had occasionally asked if him to take you out on one of his adventures, but he had always brushed you off. You close the door and he immediately hits the gas. Quickly you grab the seatbelt and buckle in, staring out the window.

“I thought you didn’t want to take me out into space…you said you didn’t want to listen to me freak the fuck out.” You can see the city below you grow smaller and smaller, you shut your eyes, it makes you feel a little sick.

“Yeah weeeell the guy who’s buying from me doesn’t know I’m the one selling, so I need somebody to stand in as seller, I figured I might as well send somebody with half a uuurp brain in so he won’t get suspicions.” Rick leans back in his seat, glancing at you from the side. When you open your eyes again it’s dark, speckled with bright lights, past the glass window. You won’t bother asking him how the ship works, how it you can be alive in it, how there’s fucking gravity, you know you won’t get a straight answer.

“This is fucking terrifying Rick, like absolutely fucking terrifying.” You’re scientific curiosity forces you to watch the galaxy pass through the window. A giggle escapes your lips, you’re in space, you had never imagined you would ever be able to be in space but here you are, SPACE.

“Yeah, yeah.” Rick rolls his eyes, he liked to see you smile, kind of loved that big dopey grin you get when you learned something new, but he didn’t like letting it show. “Just be quiet alright.” You shut your mouth, remaining silent through most of the ride, only eliciting a small giggle from time to time as something catches your interest out the window. When he begins to land on some strange looking planet you look over to him for the first time during the ride, he’s smiling. It’s not the smile you’re used to, when you’re naked underneath him and he knows he owns you, that dirty smile, no this smile is like he’s…happy? 

“So what do I have to do?” You kick an empty bottle, the floor is covered in stains of booze and it smells terribly.

He reaches into the back seat and pulls a metal case. “You give the guy this case, answer yes to any question he asks, and sound smart. Also don’t mention any relation to me.” You take the case, it’s heavy. Maybe you’re just a little disappointed, maybe when his space car landed outside your workplace as you were leaving for the day you had been hoping that he was going to take you on some kind of romantic space date. But that’s ridiculous, Rick is not the romantic type, he’d never consider trying to do something like that.

“I’m going to uuurp go get us something to drink, this place has the best slushies in the galaxy.” He gets out of the car and starts walking towards the small town you landed near. “Just go that way until you see the guy.” He lazily points a finger in the opposite direction.

You get out of the car, hold the case close and head in the direction Rick is pointing. After several minutes of walking you come to a …tree, and there is an alien standing beneath this ‘tree’. You had met several of Rick’s alien ‘friends’ but never one that looked like this creature. Some fish like being, it looks at you, shiftily. You walk towards the alien holding the case like you’re carrying an important report to your boss’ office, the kind people aren’t allowed to read and you’ve been entrusted with the security of. 

“You’re not Sanchez,” the fish hisses, sneering. Your breath catches in your throat, that fucking prick. “What are you trying to pull?” You hold the case up, keep your mouth shut. “Do you even know why you’re here, what you’re handing over to me?” Staring at him silently you shake the case. “How well do you think you know Sanchez?” You grit your teeth, you are beyond angry, and considering throwing him under the bus, but you really don’t feel like getting stranded on an alien planet. The case is taken from your hands and opened. “Well I’m sorry but, my orders were to kill whoever delivered this, I was under the assumption it would be Sanchez, but it looks like it’s going to be you.” He points a blaster at you, you recognize it, you had been helping Rick build it. He was having trouble stopping it from overloading and turned to you for assistance.

“Wow, and I had deluded myself into thinking I was more than a sex toy to him.” You growl, turning your head in the direction you came, then look back at the gun.

“Well, that’s life I guess, or, death, in your case.” The fish face primes the blaster, but he frowns when he pulls the trigger and it doesn’t go off. “Fucking piece of shit you can’t even…”

“Don’t forget to turn the safety off, it’s the blue dial there.” You raise your hand and put it on the blaster, tap the dial, and flick a switch with your pinky.

“I’m guessing you’ve known this was coming, never seen a target so calm.” He says, re-aiming the blaster.

“No I’m just good at remaining cool under pressure.” You sigh. “Unlike that gun.” 

“What?!” He holds the gun far from his body as it begins to glow brightly, you can feel the heat radiate off it. With little grace you dive out of the blast radius as the damn thing blows up in his hand, taking most of him with it.

Drenched in green blood you stomp towards the space car, it’s empty. If you knew how to fly the thing, and how to get back to earth, you would probably just steal it and leave Rick on this fucking planet.

“Whoa the fuuuurp fuck happened to you? And where’s the fucking cash?” He comes from the direction of the small town, holding two cups. You turn to face him, and he stops dead still, seeing your anger and considering turning and running.

“Take me home, now.” You get in the car, kicking empty bottles out so you can actually have somewhere to put your feet.

“Yeah sure, just give me the cash I need it to…buy…some things…” He comes around to your door and offers you one of the cups, it’s a bright …green…slushy, you look at the alien’s gore covering your body, and your stomach churns.

“Go check fuckass mcgee’s corpse…or what’s left of it anyways.” You push the cup away and get settled into your seat. “You’re a fucking bastard you know that Rick. He knew you were supposed to be the seller, was supposed to kill who ever brought the gun and he thought it was going to be you, but since it was me I was his target. He was going to kill me, I’m lucky I knew how to flood the heat on the gun.” 

His eyes widen, he looks in the direction he sent you, clears his throat. “I didn’t know, he wasn’t supposed to…..” He reaches across you and puts the drinks in the cup holders between the seats, then runs off in the direction of the failed deal. He’s gone for a while, in the time he’s gone you take one of the drinks and sip it, it’s good, fruity? When Rick is finally visible again, you can see him shoving something into his pocket, you focus on the slushy, refusing to look at him as he gets into the driver’s seat.

“Take me home Rick…” You say into the drink. “You got your cash so we can go now…and you know what I…fuck it… just fuck it.” 

“Come on don’t be like urp like that, I really didn’t know the guy wanted to kill me.” He tries to reach over and put a hand on your shoulder, you turn your head just enough to shoot him a glare. His hand retracts like you’re a venomous snake, and instead grabs the other drink. You start rummaging through the bottles on the floor, looking for any that might be at least part full, you feel the car lift off the ground. “Come on I had plans, now that we have the cash I can take you somewhere suuuuper great.”

“I’m not really feeling Blitz and Chips Rick…I just want to take a shower and go to bed.” You hold out a hand towards him as you sit up, having found nothing in your search. “Flask.”

“Not Blitz and Chips I had something uuurp super special planned, come on.” He drops his flask into your hand. “Uuuuh just so you know my flasks stuff is uh…strong so you might only want a…” You proceed to dump the entire contents of the flask into your slushy. “Well alright that’s uuurp, that’s cool too.” He takes the empty flask then shuts his mouth.

You drink slowly, watching the galaxy pass by outside the windows again. It’s not as fantastic now, the anger and sadness sits heavy in your gut and you try to drown it with the booze slushy. After some time you look in the back seat, start trying to find something to clean yourself off with, there’s some dirty shirts and assorted cloth in the back, the entire car is a fucking mess. Rick just keeps his mouth clamped shut the entire time as you try to use the clothes to wipe the alien blood and guts off yourself, leaving only stains on your own clothes and some sticky residue on your skin. When your head is swimming from the booze you close your eyes and lean against the window, as far from Rick as you can get.

“Hey, hey wake up we’re almost uurp, almost there.” He’s drinking from your cup, took it when you dozed off. You lift your head, Earth is nowhere in sight, you scowl at him. “Hey hey don’t give me that look, I told you, told you I had some plans for you uuurp tonight. Just hear me out.” He holds up a sheet of paper. “I needed that money to to buy some information, there’s this thing you see only happens once every th..three years or so, but o..only a few people know where it is.” You can see coordinates on the paper. “And they’re really fickle about what kind of uuurp currency they take.” He frowns. “I really didn’t know that that guy was going to try and kill you, I just….” Rick trails off and chugs the rest of the slushy.

“You could have at least shown some concern about my wellbeing when you saw me covered in dead alien, all you gave a shit about was the fucking money.” You try to read his face, you can tell you struck a nerve.

“Babe you weren’t dead or bleeding, I didn’t need to worry.” He takes his hands of the wheel, you appear to be in…park…in the middle of nowhere. “Now look that way, it should be starting in a minute.” 

“Yeah well….” You sigh, and watch the expanse of space, waiting. Suddenly something shines bright in the distance, brighter and brighter, until neon colors fill the expanse of space. Colored dust and gas in hues you could never imagine fill your vision, swirling, dancing, like you are watching the creation of a nebula, but it’s so much more.

“It’s a festival.” Rick reclines his seat, watches with his arms crossed. “Held by an alien species that’s normally uuurp very reclusive. They’re recreating the birth of their, of their star system. But they do it somewhere different every uurp year so that strangers can’t intrude.” You half stand in your seat, hands pressed to the window, watching the colors spread across every inch of visibility.

“It’s…beautiful…” You whisper, awestruck.

“Yeaaaah, and I only found a guy willing to sell the coordinates at the last minute, so I didn’t have a chance to check that there was nothing uuurp shady going on with the customer.” Rick’s voice almost sounds like he’s feeling guilty. You feel all that anger and betrayal that had been building in side of you slowly fade away, maybe you had been a little hard on him. When you turn to look at Rick you find him smiling at you, it’s another new smile, you don’t know what it means but you wish you could see him smile at you like that more.

“Thank you.” You lean over, his eyes widen when you hover inches from his face. You press your lips to his, and he wraps an arm around your waist, kissing back hungrily. Suddenly he pulls you across the console and into his lap, his other hand grabbing the back of your head, long fingers tangled in your hair, holding you captive in the kiss. When you’re starting to crane your neck a bit to see the colors again he releases you and quickly flips you over so you’re still sitting in his lap but you can see out the window again. 

Rick keeps one arm wrapped around you, watching your smiling face. To him it’s a better show than anything that’s going on out there.  
/////  
At some point the two of you made your way to the backseat, he laid back across the more spacious seat and let you lie on top of him, watching the bright colors of the festival through the glass above. It was roomier but still a little cramped, your legs tangled together hanging off the seat. One of your hands was stretched upwards, tracing swirls of neon across your field of vision, the other rested on his hands resting on your chest. The back had bottles not completely empty, and he drank from them, occasionally bringing it to your lips and allowing you a sip. 

“Rick, this is actually, romantic.” You giggle. “I never really thought you were capable of being…” Biting your lip you twist, turn until you’re lying on him face to face instead. 

“It’s not really my thing.” He shrugs. “But I, uurp, I decided I’d try to do something to make you smile. I uh, I don’t do that enough.” He grins, then kisses you. His hands slide to hold you gently by the arms, but they are sticky still with the blood of the alien that tried to kill you. He tenses up, and looks at the green stains on your clothes, guiltily.

“If it… makes you feel better, despite what happened.” You kiss the worry creases in his forehead. “I still want to go on space adventures with you…it was, kind of exhilarating really.”

“It’s not as fun as you think, it really isn’t.” Rick moves one of his legs to rub against your thigh. 

“Rick, it’s fucking SPACE. I don’t care if we’re going to an alien nursing home to meet a geriatric customer I want to… I want to be out here… with you.” You tilt your head upwards, look again at the bright festival colors, a laugh builds in your chest and you have to cover your mouth to hold it in. “Space…there’s…it’s…I can’t.”

“Listen if your sure, then urp, fine, I’ll take you along.” He grins. “You know when Morty’s being a little bitch and won’t come with me of course, I’ve gotta have a companion.” 

“That sounds good to me.” You kiss him again, smiling. “I promise I’ll be a veeery good girl.”

He sits up a bit, reaches for something under the seat. “Ima, ima be blunt here.” He holds up the condom he pulls from under the seat, you glance down and see a box of them, well at least he doesn’t just leave them scattered willy nilly to be poked and shit. “Was I…romantic enough tonight that I can still get lucky even after the shit show that went down earlier.”

“Did you really think I was going to lead you on with the cuddling shtick? Of course we’re going to fuck.” You sit up, moving your legs so you’re straddling him. 

“Fuuuuck yeees.” Rick’s tone turns almost sassy. “Would have been a real waste of money to urp bring you to the nicest show in the galaxy if I didn’t I didn’t get a good fuck out of it.” He begins unbuttoning your pants, and slips one hand in through the opening to your panties. He was kidding, the way smile on her face watching the festival was more than worth it, this was just a great side benefit. 

“Oooooh yes it would be just terrible if you didn’t get laid after I nearly got killed.” You smirk, quiver slightly in his hand, and start working his belt off.

Ricks fingers stroke your slit through the thin fabric of your underwear. “Babe I know my word doesn’t, uurp doesn’t mean jack shit but I would have been upset if you died, like I would have been very very upset.” He shivers as once you’ve taken care of the belt you move your hand under his clothes, ignoring the boxers, going straight for his already hardening cock. 

“I knooow, if I died then who the fuck would keep you from blowing yourself up.” You carefully grab him, stroke it with your thumb. He closes his eyes, moans slightly. “I mean you really gotta take more safety precautions in the lab you’re going to fucking kill yourself one day.” You gasp as a finger pushes aside your panties, finds and begins to massage your clit. You smirk slightly. “And I mean we both know now a days most of your ideas come from me, you’d be out of business if I..aaah.” He’s playing with your sensitive parts so well.

“Mmmmm you’re right I’d be ruined if my brilliant assistant kicked the urp, kicked the fucking bucket.” Rick’s voice is heavy with lust, he opens his eyes part way, looks you up and down. Two of his long fingers slide past your entrance, into you, rubbing slowly. You lean down and kiss him quickly while pulling his erection out of his boxers and pants. When you sit up again you look out through the window, smiling at the bright colors still swirling through the void of space like the northern lights back on Earth.

“Brilliant? I like that word.” You start pumping your hand up and down his cock, feeling him twitch underneath you. He moans, for a moment abandoning his attention to your soft flesh, distracted by his own pleasure. You squeeze him slightly with your legs to remind him though. He grunts, then quickly finds your g-spot, and hooks his fingers into it. The condom is resting on his chest now, you grab it, and efficiently get it opened and onto his dick.

“Very brilliant.” He growls, his other hand beginning to tug away your pants. So you raise your body slightly, allowing him to pull the clothing away. You continue to stroke his cock, moaning as you ecstasy fills you. The colors on the other side of the window are becoming more vibrant, you almost wish you could breathe the colors, become one with them. His fingers pull out, and you whimper, but quickly his hands grab your hips and he guides you till you’re over his thick cock.

“I’m glad you’re…ah…starting to recognize that.” You let go of him, move your hands to hold his arms as you lower yourself, let him fill you. The moan you emit is a little high pitched, a little embarrassing. He grins, closes his eyes and snaps his hips upwards quickly, groaning. You tilt your head upwards, smiling at the beauty of the festival as you begin to slowly raise and lower yourself. It takes a minute to get into a rhythm, you’re too busy watching the starry colored expanse of space to try to make a rhythm. Rick laughs when he realizes you’re too distracted, and takes matters into his own hands, holding your hips tightly and lifting you up with a moan, then bucking his hips upwards and letting you come back down with him. As the pleasure, the tension and fire inside you grows hotter the colors outside become more and more vibrant, ecstasy infesting your brain like some hallucinogenic. You moan loudly, calling his name repeatedly, and he whispers yours in response each time. 

“Mmm you’re so…” He opens his eyes and his jaw hangs open, words left unfinished. From where he lies below you, the neon colors swirl behind you like a halo, like some kind of deity. “Fuck….” His hands slip a bit, dropping you for a moment, but he quickly recovers, and begins to thrust into you with more vigor than ever before. You look down at him, your lips curled in a smile but your eyebrows scrunched quizzically. 

“Is something…fuck…is something wrong?” You hold back your moans, your hands slide down to his chest, and you can feel his heartbeat through his shirt. He shakes his head, and shuts his eyes as he feels his climax coming, moaning your name quietly. Once you’ve resumed watching the swirling colors, your muscles tensing as you feel yourself on the edge, his eyes slide half open again to watch the bright lights transform you into a goddess. You grip his shirt as you feel yourself come around him, the colors at their most beautiful, you swear they’re trying to speak to you. Bliss consumes you and you moan loudly “Rick, fuck, Rick.”

He snaps his hips upwards one more time, whispering your name then moaning non-words. His fingers dig into your hips as you tighten around his dick, and he soon follows your orgasm with his own. Releasing your hips he brings his hands up to your shoulder and pulls you down gently. You close your eyes, resting your head on his shoulder but lying such that he stays inside you. He wraps arms around you, rubs your back.

“I mean it.” He whispers. “You are absolutely fucking brilliant. And I don’t know if…if I would be able to manage if something ever happened to you.” He tenses up, grits his teeth. One hand searches for a bottle, finds one quickly, and drinks from it. “Don’t take that to mean anything though, I’m just urp saying the universe would get really fuckign boring if I had to go back to being the only smart person.


End file.
